This is really more of a family law issue than a tax issue. I would think you might want to pursue the failure to meet the child support issue. I would think that a government agency with responsibility for enforcing support orders could assist you. You could also go back to the family law court that issued the support order to order him to cooperate and turn over the necessary documents. His tax records and social security information are private and you wont get at them without a court order.
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Return to the court that entered the child support/QDRO order and move the court for an order requiring him to cooperate and prove the required information on pain of contempt punishment. The assistance of an experienced family law practitioner will almost certainly be needed.
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This is not a tax question, but is a family law matter. Go back to your family law attorney and have them go before the family law judge to obtain an order requiring him to cooperate.
H. Daniel Lively, Esq., LL.M., CPA Certified Tax Specialist, CA Board of Legal Specialization firstname.lastname@example.org www.USTaxRescue.com 714-708-2593 Mr. Lively is a Certified Tax Specialist by the State Bar of California Board of Legal Specialization. He can be reached at 714-708-2593 or USTaxRescue.com.Any individual seeking legal advice for their own situation should retain their own legal counsel as this response provides information that is general in nature and not specific to any person's unique situation. Circular 230 Disclaimer - Advice given in this response cannot be used to eliminate penalties with the IRS or any other governmental agency.