You need to speak with a lawyer who knows bankruptcy and can get more details. If your claim arose prior to your former friend's bankruptcy case, and the discharge has entered, your claim against him is discharged and your contacting him could violate the discharge injunction. You do NOT want to violate the discharge injunction.
Talk to a bankruptcy attorney who can review your former friend's bankruptcy case and give you the final opinion that you can rely on.
You're trying to collect on a debt that existed before the bankruptcy was filed and was discharged in the bankruptcy. You could be sued for sanctions from your violation of bankruptcy law, and if I were the guy's attorney then we'd already be in bankruptcy court asking for money from you and from your attorney as well.
Assets and liabilities are examined as of the bankruptcy filing date, with limited exceptions not applicable here. The 2006 accident, like any property he gets after the bankruptcy was filed (except for the limited exceptions) is his - not his bankruptcy trustee, and not his creditors, and certainly not yours.
An oral promise to pay you out of the accident proceeds is not enforceable, and is no defense to a sanctions action against you.
Heck, I'd sue you for harassment as well if I represented the mother.
Nothing in your facts suggests that you weren't a creditor who needed to be listed in the bankruptcy. You don't say that you sued in bankruptcy court for an exception to the discharge, and that deadline has long since passed.
I don't even understand why are you calling and emailing if he hasn't received the money yet in the first place.