Give up Visitation
For the majority of the time I have my kids, they are sleeping, and the remainder of the time they spend arguing with me and being brats because they spend 99% of the time with their mother who is a horrible person.
I can't interact with their mother at all, she is a vindictive, rude, hurtful person and is making my life a living hell. I'm considering giving up my visitation with the kids until they are older and can understand their mother's actions.
What legal rights do I have?
3 attorney answers
I cannot give legal advise over the internet nor can I establish an attoney client relationship with you.
These comment are only guideposts. They are not subject to any privilege protections. I am not licenensed to practice law in your state.
Your inquiry was posted on the Class Action section of AVVO. It would not seem that it has class action procedures are relevant to your situation.
Your matter involves the welfare of children. These are not issues to be handled pro se, that is without an attorney. it is not only you personal interests that are involved, but, as you pointed out in your question the well being of your child.
You have recieve some guideposts from the other responders.
There are some matters that are just better handled by an attorney familiar with the procedures of the courts and how to present legal arguments to a judge. .Most legal matters should not be handled via internet communication. At best the responders can give you a few hints and guidance. To deal with a legal problem nothing is better than a sit down with a lawyer who will give you some time. If you cannot afford an attorney, there should be agencies in your locality that can provide discounted or even free legal services. Your local Bar Association should be able to provide you with a list.
I agree with Ms. Elsey...this isn't a decision that you should make lightly. I recommend that you meet with a therapist, one who specializes in working with children from broken homes. I believe the guidance that professional can provide will probably be more useful than the guidance an attorney can provide.
You can choose not to have visits, but there's no guarantee that you will be able to resume your visits later on. Staying away is not going to teach the children anything and all the kids will have to know you by is their mother's childishness. If your visits are unproductive and the ex is unwilling to have the kids do some family counseling, you can go back to the court and seek a minor modification to expand your visits to Sunday evening.
Practically speaking, you need to involve a counselor or a parenting coach who can help you deal with the outbursts. Or find a parenting class geared to kids your kids' ages. Also, see if you can volunteer at the child's school (i.e., chaperoning a field trip, lunch room monitoring). It's not visitation time (and you have to follow the school's policies and procedures to the letter), but your older child can see you in a different setting where he/she can't act up.
The mother is going to be who she is, no matter what. You can't change that. Staying away will give the mom exactly what she wants and teaches the kids a terrible lesson. If you involve a counselor or parenting coach and they see signs of emotional or psychological abuse, then you could have a powerful witness on your side to ultimately get custody of your kids.
You can give up if you want, but you'd be giving up an awful lot.
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