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Ex husband who im forced to live with due to financial reasons uses a domestic violence RO against me to control me, what to do?

El Toro, CA |

Ex husband got a permanent DV RO issued against me because we agreed he wasn’t going to the hearing to make it final so I didn’t go. I assumed the RO had expired not been made permanent. I was never served with the permanent order therefore I had no clue he obtained one & I moved back into our home in January 2013 where i still currently live. (I have texts between us & our roommate & neighbor are witnesses). I just found out about the RO a few weeks ago & he said its not valid until served & he would remove it but then he gets mad at me & is now threatening to have me arrested. I cant afford to move out & I am scared if I go to court I will be get in trouble for violating the ro I was never served. I want this dismissed, how could he be afraid of me yet live with me for 5 mo?

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Attorney answers 2


I can't tell whether the ro was served or not. It appears it wasn't served. But this is a mess since you moved back into the home in January, assumably after the ro was issued. If a restraining order was issued, which is difficult to believe if he didn't attend the hearing, then you need to stay away from him. Maybe it's best to research the matter to ensure whether or not there is a ro. You can to that yourself by visiting the court clerk or by retaining counsel who will do that on your behalf. Good luck.

The response above is not intended as legal advice since it’s impracticable to provide thorough, accurate advice based upon the query without additional details. It is highly recommended that one should seek advice from a criminal defense attorney licensed in your jurisdiction by setting up a confidential meeting. Moreover, this response does not constitute the creation of an attorney-client relationship since this message is not a confidential communication because it was posted on a public website, thereby publicly disclosing the information, which is another reason to setup a confidential meeting with an attorney.


If you can prove the circumstances described, you might get the order overturned based on his actions in deceit. The main problem is at the moent you now know about it and are in violation. Legally, IMHO, you need to leave even if it is temporarily to go to a friend's or womenn's shelter.

The above is not intended as legal advice. The response does not constitute the creation of an attorney client relationship as this forum does not provide for a confidential communication.