Without reading the relevant documents, no one can answer your questions.
Contracts for real estates in WA must meet some statutory requirements. Without the requirements, the contract are not enforceable. So, one of the first things is whether there is even an enforceable contract.
If there is an enforceable contract, what are the terms of the contract?
If the earnest money is big enough for you to mind losing, then you should review your facts and options with an attorney.
Incidentally, most real estate transactions go smoothly whether there is an attorney representing you. A sizable percentage of the transactions (like yours) does not go smoothly . Having an attorney involved at the beginning may have helped.
Generally there will be some sort of contingency in the contract indicating under what conditions the earnest money will be returned. Buyer likely changed the original contract somewhat when he/she signed extensions. Normally a builder will be required to perform on or befor a date certain in the future or the earnest money would have to be returned. BUT, to have any accurate assessment of your particular situation, as Mr. Nguyen indicated above, buyer needs to read the terms of the contract and any extensions already agreed to. My assumption would be that the builder will likely not take the buyer seriously until he/she has retained an attorney. Good Luck.
David C. Beyersdorf
Lee & Beyersdorf, Llp
2110 North Winery Avenue, Suite #101
Fresno, CA 93703