I am sorry that you are going through this, in a long term marriage the maritial assets and debts are usually proportionally divided, equitably, if you can work together then you can save alot of time and money on legal fees, try and negotiate what is best for the children. take care.
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Noting the question as well as the other comments you made above - sadly there is no "usual" answer to these things. Each couple is different and typically this sort of thing is worked out in mediation. There are a lot of factors to consider and I suggest you contact a local Family Attorney who may be able to give you a consult with regards to your particular situation.
This response is for general purposes only and does not establish an attorney-client relationship. You should contact an attorney to fully discuss your issues.
There are many ways this can go wrong for one or both of you. Even if you are able to agree on terms of the dissolution and property distribution you need to retain a family law attorney to draft your settlement agreement correctly.
All of this is decided by the court or amongst yourselves with the lawyers involved. Most of the time children remain in the home to maintain stability in their lives, as to the finances if the mother stays in the home with the kids then the father would pay support to the mother and the kids to maintain the home. Sounds like you need to consult more in depth. Contact my office for free consultation 727-446-7659.
If you had a divorce lawyer you'd have the answer to this question already, so I'm assuming you don't have a divorce lawyer. If you are interested in protecting your interests you should hire a lawyer because the answer to this question is not simple and varies from case to case, in addition to which there are pleading requirements that are necessary and if you did not file the proper pleadings you may not get certain kinds of relief, such as partition. So if you want to do it yourself, you're risking losing whatever interest you may have.