If she spent community money after the date of separation, then you may be awarded community assets enough to equalize her use of that money. Before date of separation, it's considered spendign community money on community expenses.
I agree with Attorney Gould-Saltman. Seeking equalization for the funds that were spent after the date of separation is your best move. Since a significant amount of money is at issue, you should consider hiring a local family law attorney for representation. If you are unsure about what to do at this stage of the proceedings, you should hire an attorney. You should present a case to the court with a trial brief and exhibits, etc.
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Your wife has fiduciary duties to you until divorced, and they are ratcheted up by standard restraining orders once a divorce proceeding is filed. I believe that you will need to show how the expenditures were in breach of fiduciary duty and/or purely separate in nature and/or how the expenditures during the litigation violated restraining orders.
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