My husband and I invited a friend of ours to live with us for a trial basis to see if she would fit with us and add her to the official paperwork, things got minorly sexual, no full on sex, just touching above and below clothes, with full permission of the lady, and I , now I hear her mom wants to press charges on my husband. Do I need to get a lawyer started o meant til, i get a cop at my house or calling me or him? I was there for her to give concent and for 99% of all activities.
First of all, there is no such thing as "pressing charges." This is a common misconception. Criminal charges are investigated by law enforcement and brought before the Court by a prosecutor - a district attorney for state crimes, or a United States Attorney for Federal crimes. Private persons can make reports of a crime to the police and can cooperate with the prosecution in their cases, but that's all they can do. They can't legally compel or refuse any prosecution. When police ask if people want to "press charges," what they really mean is, if we refer this to the DA and they try to prosecute, will you help us by showing up and testifying? In some cases, if there is independent evidence aside from the victim's testimony, that assistance is not needed. So your friend's mother can call the police to report a crime, if there was one, but that's all she can do.
It's not clear to me what crime is alleged to have been committed here. Assuming that your friend was over age 18, then sexual contact with her, by you or your husband, is in no way illegal. The law does not prohibit adults from engaging in consensual sexual activities, regardless of their marital status.
If she was under age 18, then there is a risk. It is against the law in Oregon to have sex with anyone who is under age 18. 'Sex.' in this context, refers to all sexual contact, not just intercourse; and this applies to everyone regardless of gender. Exactly what crime this is, depends on the age of the parties and the type of sexual contact; but it can be quite serious. The rationale for the law is that it is a crime to have sexual contact with someone who does not consent to it; and the law presumes that people under age 18 cannot give effective consent.
There is also a limited exception to this rule in Oregon: as long as both partners are over age 15, and they are less than three years different in age, then they are not deemed to be unable to consent solely due to their ages. Technically this is an "affirmative defense" to any charge made based on the alleged victim's age. The state can still bring the charge, in theory, but the defendant can assert their age and the age of the other person as a defense. Of course, the sexual contact must also still be consensual. As long as your friend was over age 18 - or over 15 and no more than 3 years younger than you both - and everyone consented to everything, there was no crime.
It's also not clear to me what you mean by "add her to the official paperwork" - what paperwork could you be referring to? You can't marry a third person; you could add her to your lease, perhaps... I don't know what you refer to here. In any case, putting your friend on a lease or entering some other kind of contract with her would not be a crime and would not change the answers above.
If you are contacted by the police, you have the right to refuse to answer any questions and to ask for a lawyer; and that's what you should do if you are arrested or afraid you might be. But from what you've said here, no crime has been committed. My best guess is that your friend's mother is controlling and upset for some reason. You can ignore her.
Please read the following notice: <br> <br> Jay Bodzin is licensed to practice law in the State of Oregon and the Federal District of Oregon, and cannot give advice about the laws of other jurisdictions. All comments on this site are intended for informational purposes only, and are not intended to constitute legal advice, create an attorney-client relationship, or solicit business. No posts or comments on this site are in any way confidential. Each case is unique. Information not contained in these posts may create significant exceptions to the advice provided in any response. You are advised to have counsel at all stages of any legal proceeding, and to speak with your own lawyer in private to get advice about your specific situation. <br> <br>
Our Rating is calculated using information the lawyer has included on their profile in addition to the information we collect from state bar associations and other organizations that license legal professionals. Attorneys who claim their profiles and provide Avvo with more information tend to have a higher rating than those who do not.What determines Avvo Rating?Experience & background
Years licensed, work experience, educationLegal community recognition
Peer endorsements, associations, awardsLegal thought leadership
Publications, speaking engagementsDiscipline