Skip to main content


Randolph, MA |

Can a divorce judge look at a marriage and consider coucleing because my husband believes out marriage is over and consider broken down but I believe we can work it out so my question is will a judge grant councleing or usually he or she would grant the divorced

+ Read More

Attorney answers 6


I am sorry you are faced with this. If your spouse believes the marriage is irretrievably broken then he may obtain a divorce. A judge will not stop him nor will he order you both to attend marriage counseling. I know this is difficult; I suggest trying to make efforts without the court to reconcile your marriage. If he is intent on seeking a divorce then I suggest you retain and work with a divorce / family law attorney.

I wish you all the best.

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: I am licensed to practice law in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts and have an office in Wellesley. My practice is focused in the areas of family law, estate planning, probate, elder law, landlord-tenant and employment law. I am ethically required to state that the above answer does not create an attorney/client relationship. These responses should be considered general legal education and are intended to provide general information about the question asked. Frequently, the question does not include important facts that, if known, could significantly change the answer. Information provided on this site should not be used as a substitute for competent legal advice from a licensed attorney that practices in your state. The law changes frequently and varies from state to state.





I have never seen nor expect a judge to order marital counseling.

NOTE: This preceding message DOES NOT create an attorney-client relationship. It is not a protected or confidential communication. The statements made herein are not to be interpreted as representations or warranties of any kind. No reliance should be placed on the statements made herein. It is recommended that the recipient(s) should undertake their own research to reach their own opinion. The writer does not accept professional responsibility on this matter. TO CREATE an attorney-client relationship REQUIRES a signed retainer/fee agreement along with a retainer fee that must be received by my office.


Counseling is generally sought BEFORE a court action is commenced. The court will not order it. Under modern American divorce laws, if you want a divorce, you will get one. Since your husband deems the marriage to be irretrievable broken down, he can pursue and obtain his divorce. That does not mean that you cannot try to pursue counseling on your own, if your husband will cooperate. In light of your husband's fixed position, your best defense is to secure legal counsel and hire a divorce attorney to assist you in securing the best possible settlement under the circumstances.

This answer is provided for informational purposes only and it is not intended as legal advice. Additionally, this answer does not create an attorney-client relationship. If you wish to obtain legal advice specific to your case, please consult with a local attorney


I agree with other counsel who state that counseling should happen before the divorce.

Under the law, if the judge hears testimony that the a marriage is irretrievably broken down, and that is the testimony of one party, the judgeis obligated to find that there is an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage. It takes two parties to make a marriage work and if one party believes the marriage is broken down, and the judge will make that finding. No judge will order marriage counseling.


Unfortunately, counselling cannot be ordered by the Court. If your husband is insistent on divorce because he believes that the marriage has suffered an irretrievable breakdown then there is very little you can do to stop him. However, you can protect your rights in this process by hiring a qualified divorce attorney. Your lawyer will explain the process to you and make sure you are informed every step of the way. Good luck!


Unfortunately if one person wants a divorce and files with the court! the divorce will eventually happen. There is no mandate for couples counseling prior to filing for divorce in Massachusetts. However, you can obtain individual counseling on your own to help you deal with your emotional health. Many mental health professionals believe that going through a separation or divorce is the second most traumatic experience a person can go through second only to death. You will grieve the loss of your relationship and a trained therapist or psychologist can help! Divorce is painful, but the process to obtain the divorce can be lessened with the help of a trained, skilled and experienced divorce mediator