I believe you have posted on these facts before. You are laboring under a number of misconceptions and it is clear that you need to see a probate attorney who can explain to you how things work. The State is exceedingly unlikely to come in and do ANYTHING with this, whether you wait for a month or 5 years. Whether there was a Will or not, it may have ZERO effect on the amount that your stepmother receives as an inheritance. If the assets are titled in joint names or with her as beneficiary, then she would receive the entire estate, regardless of a Will OR a Pre-nup. (Most pre-nups have provisions allowing the parties to hold title jointly or with beneficiary designations.) In the absence of a pre-nup, the wife can choose to elect to take against the Will, and she would likely be entitled to a number of other allowances and exemptions.
The ONLY way you have any reasonable chance of getting to the bottom of this is to consult with a probate attorney, right away. Posting on this site will not do you any good. You do not have enough information for anyone to give you a confident answer. You have lots of guesses and assumptions, most of which appear to be highly questionable.
Your father certainly could have done a much better job of planning his estate, as well. Unless you were estranged from him, he should have kept you much more in the loop, to avoid this kind of situation. It is more his fault than anyone else's, in my opinion.
You badly need a lawyer to help you investigate further.
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You make a lot of assumptions. However, people often do things they shouldn't and don't do things they should. Case point - getting married for a reason that may not have worked. A lawyer should have discussed a prenup, but there are many that don't. The most troubling thing for you is that your father should have talked to you about his wishes and let you know where he kept his will. He should have let you know the name of the attorney who drafted. Face it, he left you a mess. If you can't find the documents, his wife will get over one-half of the estate. Run, do not wak, to hire an attorney.
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As both attorneys have spoken to the merits of your situation, the only point to reiterate is that you need to get with an estates litigation attorney today!
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With Court involvement, it will be possible to get his bank records and then hopefully locate the drafting attorney, find out what was drafted, etc. Without Court involvement, and without cooperation from the Widow, it seems you will be stuck.
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