To your first question, you only have to participate if there is a court order saying you have to. Second, custody modifications are decided on a case by case basis, however generally mental health issues that are well treated and have no material impact on the best interests of the children should not greatly influence a custody matter.
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Unless there is a court order, you shouldn't have to feel compelled to go back to the evaluator unless the evaluator still has work to do on the case. Since you already went to the evaluator once already and seemed to have issues with her assessment, this may be the time where you should review what happened during the evaluation. My question for you is whether this evaluator was assigned to your case or if you had the chance to pick this person. If you have an attorney representing you, this would be something to discuss with him/her, especially if the judge were to order this sent back for review.
In regards to your concern about temporary custody being given to your ex, that would depend on the nature of what happened to you. Judges are working in the best interest of the children so if the cause of your needing treatment somehow impacted the children, either physically or mentally or emotionally, then there would be a concern about their welfare and well-being. The fact that you are in a program that has steps for treatment and verifiable data to support your care and progress, that would be helpful to demonstrate that you are being proactive about your health and are doing it, in part, to give your children a better and stable life. Your ex would need to convince the judge that your situation has some detrimental effect on the children, potentially jeopardizing their safety or well-being, and that it would be in their best interests to do so. Once again, if you have an attorney, they would be able to provide you with some assistance in arguing that the children are in a safe and loving environment and you are getting the help you need. Best of luck to you!
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