I should have been more clear. Again not wanting to bring up dirty laundry;I and the third brother did not want to be part of any legal documents if my mother wanted to make changes. Just to give you an idea they are up to their 5th POA and 5th health care proxy. It was made clear to her that if she made any more changes; I and the third brother wanted to step off the crazy train. If I or the third brother were informed of the proposed changes ahead of time we would have said to keep us out of it. It did not seem right to be added to documents without are consent. Is our only option to go back for number 6 to get us off?
You NEVER "have" to act as someone's agent. You ALWAYS retain the right to say 'no, I'm not going to do that'.
Why do you think YOU need to do anything? If your parent wants to name you, fine, you just don't have to accept the nomination. If that bothers your parents then THEY need to modify their documents in a way that addresses this. If they don't someone will have to act with Court authority instead of based on the powers of Attorney.
You are driving yourself to distraction unnecessarily here. Just don't accept if you don't want to act. You're done. If that causes you issues because you feel your parents will suffer, then you need to have THEM address the issues. YOU don't have control here. In ANY event, your parents need to seek out qualified local legal help. The discussions there will help flesh this out.
This answer is offered for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice or create an attorney/client relationship. I am licensed to practice in Michigan only. Please seek competent local legal help if you feel you need legal advice!
I totally agree with Attorney Zichi. I suggest that you & your brother each write a letter to your mother's attorney stating that neither of you will serve as your mother's health care proxy or POA. Both of you should inform the attorney that your mother needs to choose an alternative health care agent. Send each letter, via certified mail return receipt, to your mother's attorney. Her attorney should inform your mother. If your father has lost capacity, his HCP & POA cannot be changed by your mother. However, even if your father's HCP & POA remain as last signed when he had the capacity to do so, no one ever has to serve as someone else's Health Care Agent or POA.
Best of Luck,
Karen D. Lane, Esq.
This answer is for informational purposes only. By responding to this question, attorney Karen D. Lane's answer does not create an attorney/client relationship with the person posing this question, and there is no attorney client privilege between you and Attorney Karen D. Lane. The answers provided are based upon the facts presented. Since many cases are very fact-specific, any person posing questions on this site should consider consulting with an attorney to discuss his/her case in greater detail to provide a more thorough and detailed analysis of the question posed. This site should not be used as a substitute for competent legal advice from a licensed professional attorney in your area who regularly practices in the subject matter which your question is about. The law changes frequently and varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction.
To begin with, there is a BIG difference between a POA and a HCP. Anyone can sign a paper designating someone else a POA, but there is no obligation of the person named to actually use that authority. Just don't do anything to act as the POA is she signs one. For a HCP, the person being designated has to sign and accept the designation in order for it to be effective. If you won't sign it, then it isn't effective.
I am a Massachusetts attorney and answer questions based on Massachusetts law. The above answer is for educational purposes only and does not create an attorney client relationship or constitute legal advice.
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