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Child Custody: Summer Schedule

San Francisco, CA |

My ex and I have an agreed (court order) Summer schedule with our 10 year old son. Am I allowed to share this with him? I'm not sure if it's normal for parents to share court order schedules with the child or not.

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Attorney answers 3


There's nothing wrong with doing so if you want to share this with your child but why? Most people, lawyers included, tend to think that the children will become old enough at some point to understand the complexities of their parents' arrangements. Why saddle them with things that they do not really need to be bothered with instead of encouraging them to enjoy being 10? I practice in Oregon, not California, but I'm pretty sure that there would be no law on the books saying you can't tell a minor about your court order scheduling. It's more of a parent's call at that point.

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Agreeing with the previous answer, there is no law against communicating this information with your son, especially if you and your ex are amicable and have a smooth co-parenting relationship. It's really a parenting choice. The courts generally see it that the children should not be aware of what is going on, so as to not put them in the middle of an already emotional situation. That being said, each case and situation is different, and it is really up to you and yoru ex and how the two of you decide to handle it. Good luck!


Well, you can share the schedule with your son so he knows when to expect to be at your house and when he's going to be with the other parent, but I'd advise against any talk about "court orders." There is no reason why your son needs to even know about court. Just tell him "mom and dad have agreed to X...."

FYI - it is not normal for parents to share court orders with the children. In fact, most judge prohibit any discussion about the family law case with the children. Most are smart enough to figure some of it out, but the rule of thumb is: keep the children out of it.

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