Don't talk to your son about the litigation. That's the fastest way to upset the law guardian. Stay away from making it seem like it's about money as well. Good luck!
It is extremely hard to give general advise that would also be helpful without knowing the inidvidual facts of your case. You are generally best advised to keep a papertrail on discussions you have with the mother - particularly disagreements. Other things should go without saying - such as being involved as much as possible in the child's like (including extracurriculaer activities). That said, you're highly encouraged to schedule a consultation with a Bronx Child Custody attorney.
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The term "sole custody" refers to legal custody. Legal custody has to do with major decisions regarding the health, education and welfare of the child. Sole custody means that the custodial parent does not have to consult with the other parent regarding decision making. Even if a parent has sole custody, the other parent generally will still be entitled to visitation or parenting time with the child. Sole custody is not favored by the courts. You have to make a very strong argument that the other parent is not fit or capable of making decisions with you about the child. The courts favor joint legal custody - which means joint decision making. Residential custody has to do with where the child lives primarily. Usually the parent with the best living situation and stability will have residential custody, and the court will make some arrangement for the non-custodial parent to have parenting time with the child.
I agree with the other attorneys; however, I would strongly encourage you to get representation now! If you can afford an attorney " in a month or two" then find one now who will work with you on a payment plan or at least arrange for a confidential consultation and fully review your situation and case strategy BEFORE you make mistakes that will be costly or impossible to fix "in a month or two". Seriously. If it is truly important to you to have "sole" custody of your son, meaning sole legal and physical custody, then don't mess around. Even a "good case" takes work, and few courts will award sole legal custody unless the other parent (1) really doesn't object, (2) is clearly unwilling to cooperate on parenting, or (3) is clearly unable to cooperate on parenting. Good luck!
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My advice is...borrow the money now and hire the family law attorney so that your good case does not disintegrate. You may make strategic and tactical mistakes while you are saving up the money.
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