For starters, make this your last and only post on a public site admitting what you and your daughter did. Cops and DAs read these posts too, and can easliily figure out who you are and use your damaging admissions against you. The only person you should ever talk to about this is your own lawyer.
Next, your CRIMINAL prosecution requries a criminal defense lawyer, and if you can't afford one, you'll be appointed a public defender.
Next, your CIVIL demand letter from Neal Tenen or Palmer Reifler pr Michael Asen can be ignored. These bottom-feeding lawyters seem to just send progressively threatening leters but they never actually sue anyone.
Finally, never shoplift, or go to a store with someone who's shoplifting, or do anything else that's likely to get you arrested for shoplifting again. It's a stupid and LARGE risk to take for a small payoff, and you're obviously not good at it.
Avvo doesn't pay us for these responses, and I'm not your lawyer just because I answer this question or respond to any follow-up comments. If you want to hire me, please contact me. Otherwise, please don't expect a further response. We need an actual written agreement to form an attorney-client relationship. I'm only licensed in CA and you shouldn't rely on this answer, since each state has different laws, each situation is fact specific, and it's impossible to evaluate a legal problem without a comprehensive consultation and review of all the facts and documents at issue.