Yes, it's certainly possible for someone to express their wishes about who can and cannot attend a funeral. Whether such expressions are legally enforceable is another issue though.
Yes you can make your wishes known to the funeral director and family and friends. Whether it will be enforced is up to those in charge of the ceremony.
If it's a private invitation only event at a funeral home, you have a better chance at barring someone, than if it is held in a public place, a church or temple. Cemeteries are generally open to the public as well.
Answers given are gratuitous and do not create an attorney-client relationship. The answer is for your information and education. Before taking action on answers given, consult with an attorney in your area.
I agree with the answers of my other fine colleagues, except to add the following:
If there's an obituary or death notice in the newspaper inviting guests to the funeral home for a viewing, it's going to be tough to refuse admittance to anyone, since the purpose of announcing a date and times for the viewing is to invite all who are interested to come and pay their respects. I've never yet seen an obituary or a death notice which reads, "Viewing is at the XYZ Funeral Home from 7:00 to 9:00 p.m., except for Uncle Tom, Aunt Mary or John Doe, who are not welcome."
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