I am sorry to hear that you are dealing with this difficult issue. It sounds like your ex is trying to be difficult. If there is no order preventing your mother from picking up your child and no safety concerns, then there should be no problem with your mother occasionally picking up the child. You should tell your ex that it is much simpler to have an agreement rather than face a modification action in court to address this issue. Good luck.
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Attorney Reinert is one of the finest family attorneys in MA and he gave you an excellent answer, unless she has a good reason, the court will most likely not care who does the pick ups. take care.
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A parent with legal custody of a child certainly has the right to exercise her discretion about who cares for the child. The sensible thing to do is to press her about why she is unwilling to allow your mother to handle the transition. If you can't resolve the matter between you, you could suggest bringing the question to a skilled mediator. You would involve the court as a last resort, first through a motion for clarification and, if that is unavailable, through a complaint for modification. However, in order to file such a complaint you need to show that there has been a substantial and material change in circumstance since the order entered. Your best course is to try to understand the mother's position and to address it with her directly.
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I'm sorry you are dealing with this difficult situation. As my colleagues suggested, I would try and speak with your ex regarding why she does not want your mother picking up your daughter. It may be that she has a legitimate reason, but it is also possible that she is just being difficult. As you have joint custody, she does have a say in who your child is left with, but without a legitimate reason behind her refusal, it is unlikely that a judge would enforce it. It would be ideal if you could come to an agreement with you ex over this rather than spend the time and money to have it heard by a judge. Good luck.
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