She does not have the right to keep you out of the house unless she has a court order granting her possession of the house. As to how you go about getting back in, the key words are peacefully and reasonably. Do not cause a confrontation that could result in an order of protection against you. If you feel it necessary for your protection, consider having someone help you initially or to act as a witness in case she makes up some allegation of abuse.
I would recommend a book called, "The Five Languages of Love" by Dr. Gary Chapman for you to look at if you are considering reconciling and working things out. Sometimes, it is easier to read a book than accept going to marriage counseling. Good luck to you.