It sounds like you did the one thing guaranteed to cost you custody - going into a custody case with no lawyer when the other side had a lawyer. That is almost always going to go badly. You have a very narrow window here on a long shot. For 30 days after a judgment you can appeal or move for a new trial. Monday (not soon), but Monday, you will get a lawyer if this matters to you. When you meet with the lawyer, don't tell the lawyer what you posted ("He lied" and "brainwashed" will not help you. Specific documented detailed facts will, so calmly this weekend make a few pages of notes that are very different than your post, and get together detailed financials about you and the father, and bring all that to the lawyer). It will be expensive (gather up your money and charge cards, and get help lined up from your family), as appeals and new trials are far more costly than original cases, but you have no other options. In the meantime, STOP doing anything that violates the wording of the court order; you can be found in contempt. Good luck.
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You have not indicated whether the Court's Order allows you to contact the children, and if so, with what frequency and through what medium. If there was some past conduct that resulted in the Court
denying you access to your children, then acting in contravention to those provisions puts you at risk of being found in contempt or having criminal charges brought against you for harassing phone calls or harassing emails (if you are engaged in the behaviors of which you've been accused).
Bring a copy of the Court's Order to a family law attorney. Get some clarity on your rights and obligations under the Order. Ask about the timeliness of - and any legal basis for - a Motion for Reconsideration and/or Appeal. And, if the father is violating the Court's Order by thwarting your contact with the children, ask the attorney about the viability of a post-judgment contempt. In the interim, if you are struggling emotionally or psychologically by being denied access to your children (which is understandable), go speak to someone (a therapist) who can help you with the tools you need to transition through this difficult time.
Best to you.
This answer is offered for informational purposes only. It is not offered as nor does it constitute legal advice. This answer does not constitute an attorney-client relationship. Do not rely on this answer in prosecuting or defending against any criminal or civil legal action. Speak to an attorney in your area about how to protect yourself and your interests.
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