If you are represented by counsel the tax exemption for you child should be part of you divorce. Be sure you tell your lawyer about the boyfriend claiming your child for the last three years. You should have the benefit of the exemption especially since your wife does not work. The deduction can be granted retroactively so you can amend and refile your taxes for those three years. If you do not have a lawyer you need one. It is already costing you money not having one. Losing the deduction prospectively could mean quite a lot of cash in your pocket over the course of future years.
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Drinking has nothing to do with the allocation of a tax dependency exemption, despite the fact that the drinking around the child is reprehensible conduct. File a motion in your divorce, for custody--and ask for drug and alcohol testing/ assessment.
The lead case on allocation of tax dependency in Cuyahoga is Lozada v Cuyahoga County CSEA--the general rule in Ohio is that the Custodian is entitled to the use of the tax dependency, and unless the Court Orders the allocation of the dependency to you, as opposed to her, you have to file to modify, and must prove that the allocation of the tax dependency to you ( as non-custodian) creates a greater financial benefit--to your child--in order to receive same. It's a higher standard--but not impossible. Good Luck.
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I am not sure what the phrase "currently waiting for the divorce to go through" means ??? Her boyfriend MAY have the right to claim the child partially for taxes if she is residing with her mother and the bf. I am not sure if you claimed the child as well, and you probably should have, depending on the agreement with your wife.
As to custody, again, based on your statement that your are waiting for the divorce to go through, I am unsure as to where you are in the process. Did you file for dissolution ? IF so, parental rights would have been defined in that petition. Did someone file for divorce...IF so, then you can still fight for custody, and have a trial on the topic based on the best interest of the child.
It does not sound as if you have counsel, and if that be the case, I would strongly suggest obtaining your own so that you do not shoot yourself in the foot.
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