My ex has visitation 2 days a week. My daughter doesn’t want to see her dad. She’s 15. Last year he hit her across the face a couple times, he continues to put her down and invalidate her feelings. He also uses her brother against her in fights (he is autistic). He refuses to take any responsibility for their relationship. He’s ‘moved on’ and so should she according to him.
I try to help him make plans for things she’s like to do but their relationship has deteriorated so that it doesn’t matter what he does. He picks her up and drops her off wherever she tells him (because I refuse. It’s the only way I can get them to spend time together so I tell her he has to drive her on his visitation Days).
He’s started texting me as he and my son are about to go to eat or go to the movies and demanding I ask is she wants to go. He says she won’t answer if he asks. I’m happy to help make plans but I refuse to be a last minute go between because he isn’t making the effort or fears rejection.
Today he told me that it was his time and he could demand I drag her out of the house or he could sue for custody. its just a threat but what are the rights here?
He can file an RFO to enforce his custodial time. The court orders apply to you and her father and it's up to you to encourage her to go, and explain to the court if she doesn't.
In the State of California, with respect to child custody and visitation, a party can request that the court allow a minor child at least fourteen years of age to address the court and/or mediator about the minor child's preferences. However, at the end of the day, the court will make its determination based upon what is in the best interest(s) of the minor child.
Think about this. If you drag her out of the house...that is abuses. She is 15! She can call law enforcement and you might have bigger issues.
At this age, it is very difficult to get a teenager to comply with the visitation orders.
I would suggest you are proactive and file your own motion to have the visitation allowable if the child is open to it. I only suggest this because of the prior domestic violence against the child. I am not sure why you didn't file for a domestic violence restraining order at the time and bring this to the court's attention.
If this has been going on and the child is distresses the court may want to know why you are not protecting the child.
By the way, you might want to research a 730 evaluation because that is where this case sounds like it is headed.
Dawn M. Saenz is licensed to practice law in the State of California and the California Supreme Court, and cannot give advice about the laws of other jurisdictions. All comments on this site are intended for informational purposes only, and are not intended to constitute legal advice, create an attorney-client relationship, or solicit business. No posts or comments on this site are in any way confidential. Each case is unique. Information not contained in these posts may create significant exceptions to the advice provided in any response. You are advised to have counsel at all stages of any legal proceeding, and to speak with your own lawyer in private to get advice about your specific situation.
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