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Can my ex ask for my visitation time if he won't be there to spend time with our daughter?

San Jose, CA |

We are awarded joint legal and physical custody. He gets her every other weekend and Mondays and Tuesdays from 9-3. I'm at work/school Monday to Friday from 9-5 and my dad watches our daughter at my home. My ex just got a full time job where he'll be working from 8-5. He wants to increase his weekday time with her to 2.5 days, but wants his uncle to watch her while he's at work. He says she needs to spend more time with his side of the family. He goes to school at night and usually doesn't get home until 10pm. I'm concerned because he won't be spending time with her and it doesn't make sense for him to ask for more time if he won't be there to care for her. Is this something that the court will grant? I feel like he wants to get more time with her to get out of paying child support.

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Attorney answers 4


This is the type of question that is very hard to address on There are many different aspects to your situation.

It is not unusual for someone to try to increase their custodial time in order to reduce their child support obligation. It also sometimes happens because they legitimately want to spend more time with their child.

You have relied upon family to help parent during your time, and he's asking to do the same thing. But he should come up with a compelling reason to change your custodial arrangement, in my opinion it ought to be more compelling than "spending more time with dad's side of the family." That's just my opinion, though.

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Your ex can ask for whatever he wants. It really does not have much to do with what he gets. I believe your thoughts stand on all fours and that as between Mon and Dad if either one of you can be there for the child as opposed to some other form of child care provider then that individual should trump the other’s position and have that time with the child. If an experienced family law attorney represents you I believe you will do well in court.

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I would agree with my colleagues. To the extent a parent can care for the children, rather than a daycare provider or other family member, it is better for the child/ren to be with their parent. In this case, it is probable that if Father is not going to be there to personally care for the child/ren, the extra time will not be ordered. And yes, these kinds of requests (especially coupled by his own inability to personally be with the child/ren) are oftentimes motivated by the reduction in child support.

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There is no definitive answer to this question. Everything will be in discretion of the court. However, you seem to understand the situation well and have begun to formulate a good argument. I would suggest hiring an attorney to help you present your case to the court. Good luck!