Yes. The child has every right under California law to be supported pursuant to the Guideline regardless of your intent to negotiate a settlement.
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It's unfortunate that you have to deal with a disrespectful mother. However, she is allowed to go to court and ask for child support even if you are trying to settle the issue. Keep a record of what you have paid for, etc. You should seek legal representation, at least on a limited scope basis to protect your rights.
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When you say you found out through your employer, does that mean that a wage assignment was issued? Is CSSD involved? You may want to contact them and make sure the order is correct, and give her nothing outside the court order until things are settled. If she wants to have that disrespectful attitude, then maybe you need to deal with this through the courts. For further information, click the link below.
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Let me re-word your question as follows: "What is the benefit of mom filing for child support if we are currently attempting to reach an agreement on support?" By asking the question in this way, we get to the real issue, which is as follows: The reason it is prudent for mom to file a motion for child support--even though the two of you are attempting to "reach agreement" is because there is a good chance that you, too, will NOT reach an agreement. Also, the court will only order support retroactive to the day mom filed her petition for child support. For example, if mom were not to file a motion for support--as you propose--and then after several months of attempting to reach an agreement with you, nothing is resolved, mother has lost all those months of child support. On the other hand, if mother files her motion now and the hearing is not set for a few weeks, you two still have time to negotiate; however, if negotiations go south, the hearing is already set and support will be ordered retroactive to date of filing. Also, the other reason it's important to file a motion for support because you and the mom want to ensure the support is set at "guideline"--a figure that reflects your income, mom's income and the percentage of visitation you each have with the child.
The fact that that you receive a message that said "**** you" proves my point--negotiations went south! Also, from my experience, when negotiations were fruitful, the amount agreed to was usually too high or too low. It's better for the court to calculate the proper "guideline" amount.
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