I am sorry that you are faced with this problem. I suggest that you take the time to speak with a family law attorney who has experience dealing with DCF (f.n.a. DSS). They can explain how to work with this agency and what rights you have. I wish you all the best.
She probably is; its a common scenario built around the insance logic of "I don't want to be in a relationship with you but you can't be in a relationship with anyone else." If DCF were to support neglect against you, or worse, abuse of some sort, they could take the posistion that Dad couldn't see the kids around you or only see them in a supervised setting to insure the kids don't have contact with you. Based on your fact pattern, it doesn't sound like Dad is the custodial parent - so making you homeless doesn't sound like a consideration. Sometimes custodial parents lose custody of their children when they prioritize a relationship with an abusive partner. If DCF is involved, take it seriously and line up your witnesses.
DSS involvement is a serious thing and you are right to be concerned. You should take the interviews with them very seriously, but if the is truly no abuse or neglect then it's unlikely anything will happen. Your instincts that she is up to something seem pretty accurate so if I were you I would consult with an attorney who regularly handles juvenile cases and works with DCF or DSS.
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