There is no age in Virginia where a child gets to choose where to live. As long as he is under 18, that decision will be made for him. The statute on child custody does say that a judge "may" (key word) consider as a factor in determining the best interest of the child the preference of a "child of suitable age". There is no definition of what that suitable age is, but at 13 I think that would qualify.
If your grandson has been living here in Virginia for the past two years, you may try to file a petition for custody here in Virginia. Under Virginia law, you should have standing as an interested party. With that said, the natural parents of a child, regardless of his age, are the preferred custodians. You have an uphill battle but it's not a frivolous pursuit.
You are going to want to hire a child custody attorney in your area to help you. There are volumes of case law that need to be argued successfully for you to prevail.
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