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Can i sue my wife and her "partner" for alienation of affection in illinois?

Chicago, IL |

About a year ago, I found out my wife was cheating on me with a coworker. I left the house that same day and we’ve been separated ever since.

Now I find out that she’s parading him around town around all of my friends and she’s openly bringing him around our 2-year-old son (to family events and festivals). This guy is also living with someone and has kids (not sure if he’s married). I’ve been giving her $80 a week for my son even though I’m not obligated to.

This has all caused me a great deal of pain and suffering and it has completely destroyed my life. I lost EVERYTHING. She has the house, furniture, and most importantly, MY SON. I’m 30 years old and living with my parents (sad, I know). I feel so stupid. They are stepping all over me and embarrassing me. CAN I LEGALLY GO AFTER THEM IN IL?

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Attorney answers 5

Posted

Just get a competent divorce attorney and forget about filing a case like this. Theoretically, you can file such a case, but they never go anywhere and just make the emotional cost of all this even worse on you and your kid.

Bring this to a proper conclusion in divorce court, establish the rules of support, custody and visitation that will guide you and your son through the coming years, and then focus on the future.

Nobody can play you for a punk unless you let them, and the easiest way for that to happen is to let her boyfriend live in your brain rent-free. Go get a good divorce lawyer now.

Please be sure to mark the best answer to your question. My answers are general and do not form an attorney-client relationship. I'm happy to talk to prospective clients in my areas of concentration and geographical location.

Posted

Mr. Long is absolutely correct.

I would concentrate on getting a good divorce attorney, but forego "going after them" and "seeking revenge," and just concentrate on being rid of your wife.

The information provided in this answer does not create an attorney-client relationship. If you are interested in his legal services, feel free to call Chris at (303) 409-7635 at his law office in the Denver Tech Center. All initial consultations are free of charge.

Asker

Posted

why do we even have this law if no one will prosecute it? it might make people think twice before they cheat. too many families break up, because its ok cheat, nothing ever comes of it. except that wives and children end up in poverty. if men knew they'd loose big, and the woman who he cheats with could get into alot of trouble, it might make them think again.... more attorneys and judges need to enforce this... for the kids sake as well as the wives sake.

Posted

Of course you can, but you need to find an attorney who is willing to take on this type of case. Alienation of Affection is limited to pecuniary loss only. There are no damages for pain and suffering.

So you need to ask yourself how much money did you lose because of the affair, and is it worth to sue this guy? You cannot sue your wife.

Find a family attorney and divorce the philandering wife. Make sure the Petition mentions the guy and sue on grounds of adultery. Then have your attorney take his deposition.

Asker

Posted

what is the difference between going this route and suing on grounds of adultry? i assume none of this would get me custody of my son, but what are the advatages? child support? more time with my son?

Michael A. Meschino

Michael A. Meschino

Posted

I believe Alienation of Affection is not worth the time nor money. Adultery is a fault grounds in divorce that has no effect on property rights but has an effect oncustody. Why not ask for custody because your wife has loose morals and would put your children in jeopardy. I had a colleague who used his wife's adultery to get more time with his children. His ex actually married the former boyfriend/jocker and they ended up miserable.So you see Karma is a Bioche!!!

Asker

Posted

lol, thank you for that last comment. you made my day! i will definately try to go the adultery route. I know i would never get custody due to the fact that shes a good mother. but i would love more time with my child. thank you

David J Mintz

David J Mintz

Posted

The best advice for you in this situation is going to be to speak with an attorney, in your state, about your specific options and any actions of recourse

Asker

Posted

What if that involves a mayor league player and the consequences affect emotionally me and specially my daughter, she is developing an injury (unicameral bone cyst) due to a fracture for falling maybe lack of concentration (she felt 4 times until she finally broke the arm in purpose) and mother is leaving her unattended with family members that also molested her when she was almost 3 and the attorney in general from Florida decide not to pursuit when they were evidences? Is there a case?

Asker

Posted

Is that something the Law consider as illegal or us like mans have to suck it up? because the woman's have more privileges at court.

Posted

Alienation of affection cases are rarely won in Illinois. They are also expensive.

It sounds like you have not yet even gotten divorced. That is what you should be doing, as well as addressing the issues of your son.

You need a lawyer right away. By your own admission, you have already wasted a great deal of time.

Asker

Posted

what can i do to him though? i would love to bring him into this to at least make it so his wife/girlfriend is aware of what he's doing. they also work together at a bank. How would i go about getting them both fired? its time they start paying for what they've done to me and my son. I'm really trying to go all out here!

Judy A. Goldstein

Judy A. Goldstein

Posted

Don't waste your time. Granted, you are very upset but this will not help you in any way and could possible lead t trouble.

Asker

Posted

so i cant get them fired? please dont tell me that! thats the least of what i want to do with this guy. trust me, hes lucky im even choosing to handle things the "legal" way

David J Mintz

David J Mintz

Posted

Ms. Goldstein I agree that you should most definitely contact an attorney immediately because time has been wasted.

Judy A. Goldstein

Judy A. Goldstein

Posted

I don't need an attorney. I AM an attorney.

Posted

Just file for divorce and move on.

Why spend thousands on a lawsuit that rarely wins? (You have to show actual damages, and hurt feelings don't count.)