Hard to say, but one question, did the menu have any type of warning saying that products may contain peanut or nut products. I am aware of peanut allergy warnings on menus, and also warnings about MSG ,but haven't come across warnings about tree nuts.
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Glad to hear that you did not suffer a severe allergic reaction. Given the different responses you received from the wait staff, you should definitely contact the manager about the incident, stressing the fact that they dodged a bullet in your case and it would not be an incident that should be repeated. Letters can be easily ignored, so I would suggest going back to the restaurant late in the afternoon (end of the lunch rush and before dinner) and speak with the manager in person. Stress what occurred, the fact that you do not want to sue but their procedures/menu need to be corrected to avoid any future injuries/deaths.
Be prepared for the manager to ask what you want, and respond that they have to be careful with using all nuts and advising all wait staff about the ingredients, and a free meal since your last one was ruined (assuming you like the food).
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