If a crime was committed, it was your wife violating electronic privacy statutes and stealing money from you. While you did not authorize her to do these things, you have the power to ratify or approve of the conduct now that you know about it. Most people don't file criminal charges against their spouse and then maintain the relationship. You haven't stated anything here that should end your military career. Rather than discussing any facts further here you should discuss the matter with your wife, perhaps a criminal defense attorney.
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If you question is can you report your wife to the police or "press charges" the answer is yes. Not sure what you mean by "some way around the matter." If there was a crime committed and you wish to report the person who committed to the police you are certainly able to do that.
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Not sure why your career is implicated...your options appear to be (1) file a police report (2) sue your wife (3) ask wife for money back (4) do nothing.
BTW, donuts to dollars the bank will NOT involve itself beyond telling you handle it
yourself. Their investigation was focused on identifying how best to protect the bank, not you.
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