Based on the information you've given I, too, would say no. You given occupancy of the home to your wife. While you may not like it, she is entitled to have a guest in the home.
These days, a divorce based on "irretrievable breakdown" is as easy as crafting a separation agreement. Unless the two of you want to work on repairing the relationship, why not just make a clean break and file for divorce.
If he's willing to be your tenant and not her guest, then you can. Otherwise, you cannot. If you are separating, perhaps you would like to get divorced and work out a permanent resolution to the end of the marriage including property distribution.
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No, but if you make a stink about him living there in the context of a divorce action, you can cause serious trouble for your wife. Judges in Suffolk County take a very conservative view of paramours being in the presence of children during a pending matrimonial action.
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Can't charge rent, but when it comes time for the court to determine who pays for the overhead on the house, you can insist that his income be taken into consideration if he is not paying rent, and if he is paying rent, to take that into consideration alternatively. But don't expect too much to happen.
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