My husband and I are currently separated, but have not filed for divorce yet. I allow him to have our daughter on the weekends but when I pick her up she's filthy and unkempt. She tells me that her cousins are teaching her words about private parts (the most recent word was vagina) and she's only 7 years old. I was also informed that he allowed her to use his bb gun to shoot birds, so I then had to have a serious talk with her about gun safety and explain that you only kill something you intend to eat! She also cries to me saying that her daddy (my husband) tells her that I'm cheating on him (which I am not, we separated because he has an issue with anger and agression) and that he still loves me and that we're going to be a family again. I have no desire to reconcile with him and I've made it crystal clear. I dealt with his volatile and abusive personality for 14 years and now that he's gone it's like a breath of fresh air. I do not want to allow my daughter to visit with her father because I feel she is in an unsafe environment and that her father is using their time together to get information about me. When I confront my husband he denies it, or brushes my concerns aside.
Right now there is nothing to keep your daughter away from your husband except of what you two have agreed upon. You will need a court order to establish visitation issues (i.e. supervised visitation if you are concerned of what she's learning while with him).
I am licensed to practice in Massachusetts. As such my answers should not be viewed as a legal advice.
You need to speak with a Family Law attorney asap. Although there may not be an order that currently provides for parenting time for your husband, these issues have yet to be litigated. Hence, keeping your daughter away, while possibly well-intentioned may harm your longer-term goal of sole physical custody. Obviously, you must make the decision of what is safe for your daughter. However, keeping in mind that even the most fair-minded people are not as objective as third parties. I cannot urge you in strong enough terms to talk to an attorney ASAP. Good luck to you.
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