You are obviously overwrought, however, remember, this too will pass with time.
Since you don't say what you're charged with, its difficult to help you. However, first, you CAN get your money back from an attorney who hasn't yet done anything on your case. However, I suspect you will find that he/she has done more than you may realize yet. Often when people have something pending, they think about it incessantly and expect their lawyer to think about it just as much as they do. Remember, in order to make a living, most lawyers must handle a number of cases at the same time. So we just can't think about every case as much as each client thinks about their own case.
If you want to fire your attorney, he/she can keep some money for having opened a file and done an initial interview. Don't expect they will give you everything back.
Next, get some therapy for yourself immediately. Those thoughts of killing yourself are not normal and not necessary for being charged with a crime. The other person has left you with what I call a "waking suggestion" which you have, unfortunately accepted that you will kill yourself if you're charged. This is not the end of the world or with your world. This will just be a blip in your history once you have your baby. Then all your attention will go to your child and this will all fade into the past.
Speak to a counselor, minister, priest, rabbi or somebody who can help you get through this and you will be fine.
Good luck.Ask a similar question
You certainly can speak with your attorney and explain how you feel. If the attorney is not sympathetic or unable to represent you then perhaps you can work out an arrangement for a refund and be able to obtain substitute counsel. It is true many competent attorneys lack empathy for their clients - if this bothers you by all means try to get new counsel.Ask a similar question