If your ex wife isn't following the court order, and you've already asked nicely for her to comply, then the next step is to consult with a local attorney regarding making an application to the court. You can search the attorney profiles here on Avvo to find an attorney in your area who will be able to give you specific advice about your rights, options and obligations in this situation. Good luck!
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Probably, but for contempt issues, it's advised you have an attorney. Under the statute, if you prevail, the other side pays (reimburses) your legal fees. Talk to one in your area for specific guidance.
I agree with the advice you've gotten already, and I want to add that it will be very helpful to your lawyer if you immediately start documenting what is happening if you have not been doing so all along. Keep a detailed journal. Write down the exact dates, locations, and events. Write down what you did in response. Consider calling the police to report visitation interference when she is many hours late. Collecting this evidence of a pattern of behavior will make your story much stronger when you go to court.