You cannot enter illegally and just start living your life again. That will end badly for you.
It may be possible for you to enter the country again legally. However, this depends on the circumstances under which you left and other details about your past. You will need to consult with an experienced immigration attorney who can review your situation in detail and see whether you are eligible to reenter. Your situation is too complex to receive a helpful answer from an online forum. You should also be careful about what you share publicly.
You cannot enter the United States and begin living your life again. You would be in violation of the United States immigration laws. You could be arrested, detained, and subject to removal proceedings/reinstatement of removal if caught. You could also subject yourself to significant bars to lawful entry in the future.
You may be eligible to return to the United States legally. However, there is insufficient information to assess your eligibility to return. You need to consult an experienced immigration attorney to discuss the matter in more detail before taking any action to return to the United States.
There are too many issues raised to properly answer you in this forum. I would suggest you consult privately with an attorney
Samuel Ouya Maina, Esq. 415.391.6612 firstname.lastname@example.org Law Offices of S. Ouya Maina, PC 332 Pine Street, Suite 707 San Francisco, CA 94104