Well as you are not a prosecutor, you cannot "charge" anybody with anything. You can go talk with the prosecutor about your situation and also go get a restraining order and if he violates it call the police.
Get a restraining order. He is harassing you. Once that video is online, you may not ever get it off. It will get passed from site to site. Many reputable attorneys offer a free consultation. My suggestion is to meet with many to determine which one is best for you.
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Getting a restraining order is a good idea. However, it's not up to you to charge him. You'll need to either call law enforcement or the Ventura County District Attorney's if you wish to have them possibly file charges against him. Best of luck.
This has to be handled very carefully. You need a restraining order and then file a complaint with the police or DA.
Andrew Roberts (818) 597-0633/ (805) 496-7777