Sounds like you need to move, pick better boyfriends and get appropriate therapies. A small claims action is not going to help you, especially since it appears that these guys are unlikely to have any assets which can be used to collect a judgment.Ask a similar question
"Crazy", "violent" and "stalker" sound more like opinion that you cannot sue over than defamation, which you can. In addition, your ex-boyfriend's report to the police is probably protected by immunity. I do not see a case worth pursuing here.
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Hidden cameras in your shower are not something police would do. What makes you believe that there are cameras there, or elsewhere in your home? 24/7 surveillance is also unlikely based on the statements you believe were made to the police. Have the police contacted you?
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You have no viable civil cause of action. Additionally, Farmingdale is uniquely partly in Nassau County and partly in Suffolk County. Either way, neither the Nassau nor Suffolk police have the resources to surveil you 24/7, especially for the reasons you cite. Now, if you were slinging heroin (heroine is something different) at the rate of kilos a day, they might take an interest. You're not doing that, are you? Forget the exes. And if a boyfriend of 3 1/2 years is susceptible to the paranoid rants of an active junkie, you are likely to be well rid of him. Pick yourself up, pull yourself together, rest easy in the knowledge that you have done nothing wrong (except make some bad decisions when it comes to men), exclude these losers from your life and move forward. Best of luck to you.
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Based solely on what you present here there is no claim for "defamation." You say he told police you are crazy and violent and a stalker. Why would the police pay any attention to these "opinions?"
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