Respectfully, you assumed too much. Your ex spouse's attorney is under no obligation to you. If no one showed up at the hearing, the TSC probably did go off calendar. Your options: appropriately respond to the letter or pay your filing fees. One, the TSC, may have absolutely nothing to do with the other, i.e., your responsibility for filing fees.
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You ask a lot of questions here -- whether you can ask for sanctions (and, implicitly, whether such a request would be granted), as well as what you can do to seek reversal of a potentially adverse action.
It seems to me that you need more help than the volunteer attorneys can provide. We are inherently limited by the facts you share, and can't provide much more than general advice. (It would be similar in your profession; if someone asks if a fever of 103' is serious, you can say yes, but if they ask if they have meningitis based on aches in their knee, you probably can't answer that without running tests.)
The questions you ask are very important and very specific to the facts of your case, so I'm afraid I can't provide any guidance to you beyond "find, and hire, a local family law attorney."
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