Generally, petitions for non-parent custody require a showing of extraordinary circumstances for a non-parent to even have standing to seek custodial rights. From the facts you relay, it seems this does not exist. My next question would be what you are trying to accomplish by having step-dad on custody papers. If access to school/medical records and personnel is the issue, this can easily be accomplished by signing a release with the respective facility. Best of luck to you and your family!
No, the problem is that your husband isn't a legal parent, so he cannot become a "custodial parent". If he adopts, then he would become a legal parent and he could also become a custodial parent. He cannot adopt as long as the biological father's parental rights are intact. You may be able to designate your husband as a stand-by guardian in certain circumstances, but this is something you should discuss in detail with an attorney. Good luck!
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