Yes, unless you had a contact that requires them to take back the car, which you don't. Options: pay or have your credit ruined for years or go bankrupt.
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Yes, generally a dealer can refuse to take back a car. The right to repossession of their security (collateral) is a right, not a duty. Moreover, if you owe a lot more than the car is worth, the repossession of the car wouldn't satisfy the debt.
An attorney skilled in representing debtors may be able to help you negotiate a settlement, especially if the debt may force you into bankruptcy.
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