You'd better have some admissible written evidence of your status as a "cooperating witness" and the instructions given to you by law enforcement, or this is a non-starter. It's REALLY unlikely that you'll be able to accomplish this without the4 assistance of an attorney.
Interesting; why don't you get a notarized statement from the agency stating that you cannot discuss the matter; not sure whether you can admit such statement without a witness presence.
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You will have to show a clear nexus between the expenses and the criminal matter in question. You would do this by filing objections to the requested information and state why you can't do this. The presumption in a divorce case is that the parties have to provide information on income and expenses.
I am not sure you can assert a privilege based on the law enforcement agency instructing you not to discuss the matter. Let's say somehow you were able to get the judge to agree that you don't have to discuss your expenses, it would only be until the investigation was over, and most judges would continue the matter until the investigation was over and reserve retroactivity. In practical terms, that would mean that you could potentially end up owing money, with interest accumulated, for the period the investigation is going on. I don't see the benefit. You need to get an attorney to help you, as it sounds like there are major problems. The last thing you want to do is appear in family court like you are withholding information from the other party without good reason. Family law is all about FULL disclosure, and spouses owe a fiduciary duty to each other to do so. For further information, click my law office name below.
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