Yes, a lawyer can refuse to take on any client they don't want to. Not only that, but lawyers are required to refuse to take on some clients. One reason that a lawyer would not be allowed to take a client would be that the lawyer has previously represented someone who would be adverse to the new client - or that they have a close personal connection to someone who did. Your child's father's attorney's wife is a prime example. She may not be able to represent you fairly, given her relationship to the father's lawyer. I certainly wouldn't take your case, if I were her - nothing against you; it's just ethically problematic. Good attorneys are scrupulous in their respect for these ethical rules. You should find another attorney who has never worked with your child's father (or been married to someone who has done so).
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Absolutely, an attorney has the right and free will to refuse to represent anyone. There are many reasons an attorney might decide not to represent someone: lack of money, conflict of interest, conflict of personalities, the attorney might not believe in the case or might not trust the client, etc., etc. Why would you want to hire the wife of your husband's attorney? That makes no sense at all. Perhaps you remember the 1949 Hollywood film, Adam's Rib, in which Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburne once played roles of husband and wife, both of them were attorneys, and then one day they found themselves in the same case on opposing sides of the case. Only in Hollywood, right?
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