"Can" a judge order as this judge did? Clearly yes, as that's what he did. It sounds like you need an experienced family lawyer ASAP. You can use the "Find a Lawyer" tab here at Avvo, and I suggest you contact some local attorneys this morning. Many family law attorneys give a free consult. Best of luck to you.
Attorney Inga Stevens is licensed in Maine. She provides general information on Avvo.com. No attorney-client relationship arises out of the information given here.
Whether your ex had an affair is of no interest to the court; this is a no-fault state. Whether he or you filed for divorce first is of no interest to the court.
Apparently, the court has already held a custody hearing, and made a custody order; you don't provide enough facts to make it possible to say anything about what the court did or did not consider.
You and your soon-to-be ex had an equal right to use the house, as long as whoever was living there was paying the mortgage; it doesn't sound like it would be in the children's best interests, or yours or his, for you and your STBE to be living under the same roof.
The court is also required to consider financial reality: if you had stayed in the house, and received the child support payment from STBE as ordered, would you have been able to make the mortgage payment on the house each month? Is there any equity in the house? One of the judge's responsibilities is to make sure that the community equity in the property doesn't get lost in foreclosure; that's not in anybody's financial best interest.
Attorney Stevens is correct. You nee professional assistance for your situation. The Avvo Find a Lawyer tool is a great place to look for an attorney or you can contact your local bar association for a referral.
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