No, not at all. Additionally, at that young age, in most cases, a 9-year old's opinion will carry very little, if any, weight in persuading a judge. Conversely, if you believe your ex is actively alienating you against your child, you may have legal recourse to argue for altering custody and/or parenting time in your favor. I strongly suggest getting an Oregon family law attorney to help you.
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Nope! A child cannot decide whether or not to visit you. The courts long ago made that ruling. Good luck.
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No, children do not have that right. Children are not generally consulted on custody decisions, when they're very young - it's considered too much pressure to put on them. Children generally love both their parents and want their approval, and it's cruel to force them (or even to allow them) to choose one over the other. When children get older - about 14, is the unofficial custom - their opinion carries more weight, but it's still not decisive in court.
It is quite a serious matter if a parent keeps a child away from the other parent, or attempts to persuade the child not to want to see them. But if you want to make this claim, you need to be able to provide some proof that this is what happened. Your bare assertion that you "know" this is from the other parent's influence, isn't going to impress anyone. The typical way that courts investigate these issues is through a professional custody evaluation. The court (at the motion of either party) will appoint a professional social worker or therapist to interview the children and parents, maybe visit their homes, watch them interacting, and issue a report. In theory, this is a scientific assessment of what is in the child's best interests. In practice, in my experience, it's an assessment of which parent better conforms to the evaluator's idea of what makes a good parent. They disapprove of parents who speak ill of the other parent, especially around the children, though, so this is an option you may want to consider. You should consult with a family law attorney for more information.
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Barring evidence something is going on at your home that endangers her health or safety, it is in the best interests of a 9 yr old to visit you. Did her decision to not want to visit you come out of the blue or did something happen during a last visit that caused her to react this way? You never know with young kids. But assuming nothing has changed, you are probably right that your ex is somehow managing this, which is wrong. I would continue on with the current plan, and hopefully get all your make up time, use it to keep the bond with your daughter strong.
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