My kids,12 & 13, of whom I have shared custody, have been seeing the same therapist for 7 years. This therapist has helped us through separation anxiety, false allegations of sexual and physical abuse, remarriage/divorce of mother, remarriage and blending of families at dad's, legal proceedings, alienation, etc. Following the abuse allegations, the court ordered that this counselor stay in place to prevent mother from shopping for a therapist who shared her skewed worldview. 6 months ago, my 12 year old began renewed separation anxiety and has been asking for more time with mother. Because couselor will not support custody change, kid tells mom she hates counselor. Now mom says kids are old enough to refuse counselling and insists that counselor stops seeing them. Advice?
The short advice is to hire a local family law lawyer. At a minimum, you should have an in person consult to discuss all the relevant history, facts, and circumstances, as more information is needed than provided in your question to develop a plan of action.
That said, my preliminary thoughts in response to your question is that a court will not terminate child counseling without a valid reason, such as the counselor suggests that it's no longer necessary. From the limited info in your question, perhaps you can demonstrate that mother's motives are not in the children's best interests? If so, please note that a court makes all custody decisions based on such interests. Terminating counseling is typically NOT in a child's best interests, unless, as said, the counselor recommends termination.
Again, best to set up an appointment with a local lawyer where sufficient information can be discussed to develop a proper course of action.
A 12 year old is not old enough to make these kind of decisions. Both parents need to work together and help these children through this difficult time. It sounds as if Mom is not real helpful.
You may need to return to court, for the court's imput.
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