my exhusband has not seen my children in over a year and a half, ages 4&2. He was granted supervised visitations and has opted to not use that opportunity. We have a long history of domestic violence and he sporadically makes child support payments. I have received 4 months worth of child support YTD. Its not enforceable through the child support office due to his income being VeteransBenefits. He is diagnosed with severe mental health disorders and has, does and will always pose a threat to myself and my children. Since our restraining order in 2016 my children and I have found ourselves in a healthy and happy relationship and we are a family. My children call him dad and we are planning on marriage down the road. He would love to adopt my children as he already considers them his own. Due to being a one income family scrounging up the funds for an attorney will be very difficult. What is the likelihood of obtaining approval for a stepparent adoption without my ex husbands consent. From what I have read, not seeing my children/not having a relationship for at a year would constitute as abandonment. is this true? All I want is2have a safe & healthy envio 4my kids, help.
You need the consent of a biological parent to adopt that parent's child. The parent must be given notice of the proposed adoption and the opportunity to object. However, that parent's consent can be inferred, and their objections overcome, if you can show that they have been voluntarily absent from the child's life for a period of over a year. (Whether the parent has mental health conditions is irrelevant.) This will necessarily be a contested adoption, unless the father consents to it of course. But you should be able to overcome his objections if he does not. You should consult with an attorney in private if you want to pursue this. This is not a do-it-yourself project.
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