While I am not licensed in North Carolina, your issue is one that is generally governed by law that is similar and similarly applied in most states. Additionally, since your issue deals with the internet, federal law and those of other states may apply.
Unfortunately, if your friend's ex-boyfriend wants to keep copies of the sex videos and pictures the two made together, there may be little your friend can do to stop him. Generally, the ex-boyfriend who took the photos and is one of the subjects has rights to the photo. Unless he took the photos without your friend's knowledge, it is likely that he will not need her consent to display or use the photos in any manner that copyright or local decency laws allow.
However, he should not have the right to use your friend's photo/likeness for a commercial purpose or tries to sell them, he may run afoul of federal or state laws.
This answer is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be legal advice nor does it establish an attorney-client relationship. Please consult a local lawyer to obtain legal advice that is tailored to your circumstances and facts. Good luck to you.