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CALIFORNIA - Can my ex-husband prevent me from allowing HIS mother to visit with our children when they are in my custody?

Vacaville, CA |

My ex-husband and I share 50-50 joint physical custody of our daughters. He got a domestic violence TRO in Sep against his mother based on false info. At the hearing, It was denied but he was given a trial (He told judge he needed more time to prepare). The RO was denied at the trial this week. He texted to tell me that he is taking me to court because I supported his mother. Since he's been trying to keep her away from our children, I believe he will try to change our custody agreement somehow to keep her away from our girls even when they are with me. Is this possible? Mom has no criminal, drug, or traffic offenses. She did attempt to take her life in Aug after the ongoing fighting with him. (She has maintained a close relationship with me since he left me. It greatly angers him.)

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Denial of a domestic violence restraining order is not the same analysis a court will make in determining what is in the children's best interest. If she is suicidal, then the court may question your parental judgment in allowing her to be around the children. However, if you do not think she is a danger to them, then you must be prepared to explain why. It may be best to not leave her alone with the children while in your custody to assure the judge that you are making good choices with regard to the health, safety, and welfare of the children. Good luck.

If you found this answer helpful, let me know by clicking the "Mark as Helpful" button or "Best Answer" at the bottom of this answer. By answering this question, the Law Offices of Cathleen E. Norton does not intend to form an attorney-client relationship with the asking party. The answers posted on this website should not be construed as legal advice. The Law Offices of Cathleen E. Norton does not make any representations about your family law matter, but rather, seeks to provide general information to the public about family-law related matters. You should consult with an attorney to discuss the specific facts of your case. Thank you.



Thank you. My MIL has never been suicidal before and has been in intensive therapy since. My ex has been angry and punitive towards her since he left because she supported me and actually lived with me and my daughters for almost 2 years to help me get on my feet (had to re-enter workforce after 12 years). The final straw came when he texted her an atrocious message and she acted in the midst of a weak moment. Out of concern for her recovery, I haven't left the girls alone with her (she doesn't need babysitting duties), but I was almost always there visiting with her in the past anyway.


It is unlikely that the court will order Grandma to stay away on your custodial time unless they feel that it is not in the children's best interest.

Please note that this answer does not constitute legal advice, and should not be relied on, as each situation is fact specific, and it is not possible to evaluate a legal problem without a comprehensive consultation and review of all the facts and court pleadings filed in the case. This answer does not create an attorney-client relationship.



Thank you!

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