What seems like stalking and harassment to you may be simply a thorough investigation regarding appending legal action to an objective observer. A report to the police is unlikely to be helpful.
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It appears you are representing yourself in this matter. From your facts, it doesn't appear the police will intervene. Further, it doesn't appear the court will consider it harassment. You are being out manuevered. My suggestion is to lawyer up or put up. There are many reputable family law attorneys who offer a free consultation. Meet with several and choose the one you get along with best.
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This seems a little extreme to me. I would warn the lawyer that she needs to stop or you will report her to the state bar. Put it in writing and send it via a method where you can prove she received it. If she doesn't stop, then report her. If you lose your job, you can prove you tried to stop it. Good luck.
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They have the right to conduct discovery to determine your income and collect other evidence to be used in the divorce action. The actions you list in your question are generally accepted methods of discovery. Look up the criminal actions in California for stalking and harassment. If they commit those crimes, contact the police.
It is very easy to steamroll an unrepresented party in divorce. Discovery is a great tool to legally intimidate and bully the opposing party. To stop this, you will need private counsel.