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At what age can my child decide that he doesn't want to go on visitations with the non costodial parent?

Chicago, IL |

my son is 11yrs old has been going to visitations for about 2yrs. on the weekend that he has to go he is very different. he is mad and screams that he doesn't want to go and that he hates going on the visitations. he says that he is not his father, though he knows that he is, he only considers my husband who has raised him since he was 2yrs old his father. i'm very concerned because on the week that he has to go on his visitations he acts up in school and it's affecting his grades. he cries and says that he doesn't feel wanted by others at the non costodials house.

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Attorney answers 3


Well it is not that simple that just because he does not want to go that he does not have to go. Your child most likely needs some counseling. I would take him first for a check up with his physician and ask for a referral for a counselor. Present this issue to the counselor. Have you talked to hisdad about his feelings? That would be good if you both could try to approach the issue together. If you have jint custody you have to mediate all disputes. How are his grades? Is he acting out in any other ways? There are not a lot of facts here to go on so I would say be sure to consult with a local family law attorney. He is not old enough to decide he does not want to go.

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If your son is that resistant about spending time with his father, there is something more going on than you may know about. Please bring your son to counseling where he can discuss in a confidential setting what exactly he is experiencing. There are trained counselors for this sort of problem. In the meantime, hire an attorney to file a motion to modify visitation. Seek evaluations and/or supervised visits if necessary.


you and the father, and your current husband should address this with a counselor. your child has some psych. issues that need to be addressed. the solution is not that there be no visits.

you and your husband are maybe giving your son signals that dad is not dad but step dad is dad.

dad could say that you and your husband are alienating son from dad.

we do not know what is going on but it needs to be addressed and solved. the three adults have to be on the same page.

this is way more a psych issue than a legal one. the legal answer is simple, the child goes on the visits.

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