Speaking with a special education law attorney may be the best route for you to go. You should contact the Delaware County Bar Association to find special education law attorneys in your area.
The response to this inquiry does not create an attorney/client relationship. We have not spoken, I have not reviewed the relevant documents and facts, and I do not represent you. Therefore, my discussion is not a legal opinion, but is informational only. Finally, my discussion applies only to issues to which Pennsylvania or Federal law apply, unless otherwise specified.
At age 14, the child has control over records and course of treatment. At any age if there is a concern over competence (and particularly at the impending 18th birthday) you may consider whether to pursue guardianship.
This answer is meant to be informational and does not constitute legal advice.