You are under no obligation to deviate from the underlying order and its terms. If her visit is supposed to begin at 6pm pursuant to your order, then that is what controls. She must follow it. You can allow her the additional time if you so choose, and you do not need to worry about changing the order for a one time deviation from its terms. You should be careful however, in altering the terms of the order if you and the child's mother do not get along. Substantial changes to the order on your part may open the door for future modifications by the court which may not be in your favor.
As the court likes to say "The order is the order". That means that if the two of you do not agree on any changes to the order, be it one time or forever, then you must follow the order. Since you do not agree on a time change then the order must be followed as written.
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This advice is not meant to create an attorney-client relationship and is a general anwer to the question posed.
The short answer is 'no'.
I do not like her aggressive stance in this matter. Have her file a petition to modify the order. However, be very careful when summoned to family court. Have a good lawyer represent you and have your diaries, calendars and notes all in order. The most important thing is not stipulate to added time.
I am an Attorney that represents children and issues like this crop up all the time. First and foremost is the Custody Order. She may not like it, but it is the controlling document. So, option one would be to follow your original plan notwithstanding the grief she gives you. In this example, she cannot take your son against your wishes.
Second option: You are welcome to deviate from the document if it makes sense and it is not routinely done. In this situation, and given the limited facts, perhaps it makes sense to allow your ex to take your son after school since she is going to have him at 6pm anyway. There may be a lot of back and forth driving to get the child to school, then to your house for the "plans" only the then transport him to your ex's house for her scheduled weekend visitation. If true, that can exhaust a five year old. If you do deviate, consider what another lawyer stated: if you routinely deviate from the Custody Order, your ex will have a good argument to amend the Custody Order if an when a new petition is filed.
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